Amazing! Rebecca, this is soooooooooo powerful and so very real. I’m so glad my words helped you unlock your heart! You’ve done an excellent job

I have also battled the fear of driving and facing the world. I still don’t like to. Cyber world is so comfortable, isn’t it? After surviving domestic violence, anxiety and fear of everything consumed me. I’ve worked my way through a lot of it such as you have.

I think fear is what happened to my original Part Two post. With the first post, everything flowed freely but with the second post I knew everyone was waiting to read something that they’d enjoy as much as the first post in my mini series and I didn’t really unlock my heart–until you let me know in that comment

I’m thankful that you let me know and I’m thankful that you’re stepping up and being brave. I commend you for facing your fear head on. The more you share these fears and truths, the closer you’ll be to your dreams.

Keep dreaming, Rebecca, keep writing! You’re sooooooooooo talented and I admire your strengths and wisdom, your wit and character, your willingness to share all of this with your readers regardless of your fears.

I think sometimes my own writing-related fear stems from thinking my writing isn’t good enough. Maybe that’s what you’re thinking too. But you’re writing IS good enough, Rebecca–even better!

I can’t wait to see where you end up. I pray I can attend one of your book signings some day I have THAT MUCH FAITH IN YOU!

*hugs Michele* Thank you so much, Michele. I really needed to hear that today. A lot of the time the fear relates to a lack of confidence in myself. At the moment there have been changes in my life and I’m a little concerned that my creativity etc. might be affected. I’ve never really had any sense of certainty about my writing abilities. I know many writers can become blocked by fears because we can never produce something that matches what we truly wanted to create. I have to remind myself that something is better than nothing. It doesn’t have to be perfect.

The cyber world is such a comfortable place to live. I’ve spent so much time here that now I’m stepping out into the real world more I feel a little displaced from both realities. The virtual world isn’t the ‘home’ it used to be but I’m not really out ‘there’ yet either. We have to step away from the old safety to leap into the new comforts. That is a leap of faith and sometimes when I forget how closely faith is tied to my heart it can get very scary. When I hold faith close it’s so much easier to take that leap.

I was listening to a workshop by Tony Robbins this morning while I worked out and he gave me a new quote. FEAR = False Evidence Appears Real. What he meant was our fears are created by believing things that aren’t true. That’s why phobias are irrational. They’re based on falsities. To conquer fear you have to base your beliefs on the truths of your heart.

The great thing is that you do push through that fear instead of letting it dictate your life. I think that’s a huge achievement!

-Melissa Donovan
Writing FORWARD

Thanks Melissa, it’s never easy but I think we take those small steps and they make a big difference.

A fantastic blog entry. I can completely relate to your fear of writing. I’ve suffered from many fears, including writing, for years. I hope that you find the strength to conquer your fear.

RT

Nothing beats fear of your own writing better than low expectations.

In all seriousness, I love to read about people who are gaining confidence and taking charge of the situation. It just makes the world a better place for all of us.

Thank you Rebecca. I hope you find your courage too.

*chuckles* Thanks Jeff. I guess one of my greatest problems is I expect too much of myself but I’ve always dreamed big. I hope others are inspired to conquer their own fears too.

I suffer from anxiety as well. Writing scares the hell out of me – that’s why I’m so intent on it now… Good luck!

Deborah
http://www.therhythmofwrite.com

Fear is the SOB I have to kick in the berries every morning just to get going. Sometimes he gets back up, making a day difficult. Sometimes he just stays on the ground and moans. Those are the good days, when I don’t feel afraid of everything, and wonderful accomplishments are made, like starting a new query, getting a great idea for a novel, or just managing to keep a positive outlook all day. You’re doing great as well–writing is one of the scariest professions you can tackle. It’s a terror-fest, from fear of failure to fear of success.

My favorite quote comes from that wise sage, The Tick. I keep this quote around me all the time, and it works better than any other words of wisdom:
‘Destiny dressed you this morning, Arthur. Don’t let fear take off your pants.’

Um… Hello? Hope things are going well for you Rebecca

Missing you…

Smiles,
Michele

Sheesh! Where are these spam comments coming from? I know you have to keep removing them. I detest them!

To brighten your day, I wanted to let you know I gave you a little link love in my post today

Smiles,
Michele

*Here’s to beautiful, cheerful days my friend!*

Thank You Deborah and PlaidEarthWorm! It’s good to know I’m not alone when it comes to fear of writing. I love the quote Plaid, thanks.

Sorry for being MIA for so long Michele. Gosh, two weeks. *hangs head* I didn’t realise it had been so long. Hopefully I’m back on my feet with things now so you can all expect to see more of me. Thanks for the link love and your thoughts.

I’ve no idea about the spam, seems like I’m getting an influx. The spam filter catches some but not others. At the moment it’s a small price to pay for all the wonderful comments I do get and if it gets out of hand I’ll install a plugin to sort it out for me.

Hi Rebecca, thanks for dropping by my site. I see we have a similar approach to blogging. Great minds and all of that! Regarding fear, someone told me recently ‘if it doesn’t scare you sh*tless, it isn’t worth doing’. I’m going to be starting my own publishing company next year and I’m scared sh*tless! Must be worth doing then. I tend to act first, panic later. I never let fear stop me from sending work off, but I do sometimes let fear stop me from starting a piece of writing. I’m currently working on a stageplay that I just can’t seem to progress with. I know how I want it to be but I fear I won’t be able to make it as good as it is in my head. Fiona aka The Crafty Writer

Thanks for your wonderful comment Fiona. It’s interesting to see how fear affects us all. I’ve found that fear seems to dominate a lot of my processes so I’m actively working to push past and break through. I don’t want to be held back by fear any longer. I think the courage to stand tall against the emotions that rock us is an important step ahead.

I can completely understand your fear that you couldn’t write your stageplay as perfectly as it is in your mind. I have the same problem with my current novel. I’ve learnt that you really have to let go of the ideals and just write it. It never will be the way you picture it in your mind but by following your instincts and believing in yourself you’ll often find the end result is even better.

Here’s to having the courage to start, the courage to finish, and the courage to push send, again and again.

When I was 6 years old, my dad and I were walking around the block (about 1/2 mile total). We got halfway around and I said “I’m too tired to go the rest of the way, let’s go back.”, and my dad explained to me that walking back or walking forward, we’d be going the same distance.

This has always stuck with me. It’s how I look at fear, as well.

Wow, that’s a really interesting perspective Mary. I’ve often thought stepping back off that egde where fear dominates gives me a chance to regroup and prepare myself. In a way it makes the journey longer.

I’ll have to remember, “Walking back or walking forward, we travel the same distance”.

*chuckles* I was just reminded of a tangentish thought. When I’m walking with my kids ocassionally one will need to use the bathroom and I have to decide where we can reach fastest. Sometimes it means turning back and sometimes it means going forward. Either way they have to hold on until we get there. lol I know, completely unrelated but it came to mind.

I think we all have some sort of fear when we write and it sounds like you’re doing all you can to face that. The drive you have to tell you story is battling the fear inside, and I hope you’ll let the story shine through!

Thanks Melaniehoo. It’s a hard struggle but I’m determined to get there, in the end.

Rebecca, what a deep and inspiring post–and one full of courage, not only for writing through the fear but for putting it all out here. I think that we all experience anxiety to some degree, but perhaps as writers, maybe even more. When we write, we pour so much out onto the pages and then we try to get that out there and the “what ifs” start–what if it’s rejected?; what if that sentence makes it sound dumb?; what if it doesn’t sell…” etc. etc. etc. And yet, we still press on–because we are compelled to–despite the fear.

*blushes* Thank you Wordsmith. Sometimes it can be very hard to be brave. But every moment we grow stronger. It is all those what-ifs that seem to control us sometimes. Thankfully, our need to succeed always overcomes the fear, eventually.

I’ve had anxiety disorders/phobias in the past, and the worst ones are now gone – the ones that were the most obviously disabling. But as I read over your post and thought about it, no, there are still more there, they just manifest themselves in different ways than the ones I’ve dealt with.

The ones that remain are quieter. They hide in the shadows. They’re quiet and calm and disable me before I even get started and before I even realize they’re there. Those ones I’m not sure how to deal with. I mean, keep working towards the dreams and goals, yes. But… Is that enough? I suppose it is – a quiet conquering to match a quiet phobia?

I’ll have to think about this.

It could be helpful to try and pin down your quiet fears. Branch out to see what new challenges push your phobia buttons. It’s easier to fight something you can see.

I’m still in the stages where my fears a glaringly obvious. For the moment the quiet fears can play their roles while I work out the noisy ones.

In a way we’re always going to face quiet fears. They can also be a good element because they are the cautious voice in the back of our heads, “Be careful”, “Prepare”, “Go slowly”. By pushing our boundaries we can go beyond those small fears and with their guidance stay safe doing it.

Thanks for your thought-filled comment, Laurie. You’ve given me a lot to think about too.

Oh, I know what those fears are as soon as I think about them – it’s all so very logical in a way. *cough* I guess my years in therapy paid off.

Fear of success and fear of failure are the two at the top of the list followed swiftly by variations on “I can’t do it!” “I’m not smart enough”. It’s just interesting to me that they’re working under guerrilla warfare rules. Which means I retaliate under guerrilla warfare rules. Like, you know, my editing list. It’s a means of dealing with something that immobilizes me by breaking it down into small chunks. One small chunk at a time I can deal with. The whole entire concept of editing a complete first draft of a novel I can’t. I’ve actually gotten quite good at guerrilla warfare in that sense – I’ve learned how to work around at least some of the things that stop me.

But, it also helps having the support that I do in the form of a husband who not only completely believes in me, but also helps me along the way. He’s great at helping me take one step at a time when I need his help.

As a side note, have you tried EFT? Long story short, it would fall under the classification of alternative therapy, and at first glance, will likely look quite hokey to a lot of people, but in my experience, it works rather well. Which, of course, reminds me that I need to use it more…

I’d never heard of EFT but my therapist tries to encourage me to do some cognitive restructuring to conquer those negative thoughts that can run down our self-esteems. Basically I’m supposed to write down a negative thought when I have it then take some time to first, debunk the thought, write down all the reasons it simply isn’t true and then replace it with a true, positive alternative. Then anytime I notice myself having the negative thought I’d say, “Well actually…” whatever.

Alas, my issue at the moment is actually noticing when I’m having those thoughts. That insideous voice inside my head has learnt to mimick every other voice in my head so I often don’t notice the thoughts at all, even on reflection later, unless I’m particularly paying attention which kind of defeats the purpose.

In the end I think we just keep plugging away at the holes. We might have to grab a bucket and bail from time to time but eventually our holy boat will get us where we want to go, hopefully without sinking.

I suspect we could exchange a lot of “Well, my therapist says…” stories.

Well, my therapist had me take those negative thoughts, and, starting with the top ten worst offenders, I wrote out a positive affirmation for each one. Then, whenever that thought entered my head, I said that positive affirmation ten times.

In the beginning, I was saying the positive affirmations pretty much constantly, but after a few months or so, it was down to a couple of times a day, and, as an added and huge bonus, it stopped my depression in its tracks, never to resurface.

I’m of the personal opinion that it’s not that one technique is specifically better than another. I’m of the opinion that, if something works for you, then it’s working for you.

I agree that a combination of techniques offer greater healing then settling on one but it’s not always easy to combine too many at once. In my Bipolar group they often talk of a medication cocktail. They mean that sometimes we have to tweak the medication by mixing various ones together with various doses but I think ultimately it is all a part of the healing cocktail, blended well with affirmations, goal setting, cognitive thinking, relaxation, exercise, etc. There are multiple elements to help us deal with the insecurities and imbalances we face. We have to find the right mixture that works for us.

Thanks so much for your comments, Laurie! I really enjoy your visits to The Writer’s Round-About.

Oh, yeah, I completely agree! With the right combination, almost anything is possible.

And thanks – it’s been fun being here.