I’m dealing with anxiety so instead of trying to push through that to continue with the Stargate Series I thought I’d do as Michele suggests in Part Two of her Mini Series. (8. Unlock you heart.) Instead of trying to ignore this fear I thought it might be better to face it, write about it, share the experience with others and ask if there are other writers out there who deal with unexplainable fears about writing.

I’ve never known a time when I didn’t desire to the depths of my heart to be a writer, to write, to create worlds and tell stories that could change a person from the inside. I have big dreams. Dreams that involve giving something to a world, or at least sharing something real with readers, something that makes them look at themselves and at life and say, “Wow, yes, that’s so true.”

Despite having a real passion and drive to make writing these sorts of self-discovery fiction novels I frequently struggle to face the page. I don’t know if the anxiety is tied to other elements of my mental health (bipolar).

I know that there are all sorts of phobias I’ve had to face in my life. I used to fear driving, the social elements of something as simple as taking my daughter to school or buying groceries would make me violently ill. But over the years I’ve pushed through fear and come out the other side, more confident, more whole and much more capable of facing the world.

The page, the words, and a future I want desperately creates a new horror that tears me apart. Full blown anxiety freezes me, can send me running in the other direction, frantically trying to find something else to do, and the frustration of struggling to do something I truly love often ends in tears.

Even writing this I’m using all my distraction techniques. I have Evanescence blaring into my ears and I’m breathing, in/out, in/out, concentrating on putting my fingers where I need them despite my hands shaking and my stomach revolting against me.

I AM writing, and in facing the fear, moving past it, pushing on, forcing the action things get easier. This is how I’ve conquered past fears. I can drive, I can shop, I can chat to the mothers at my daughter’s school because I did it, despite being afraid I just kept pushing the boundaries of my phobia until I broke through. I can do this with writing too. I just wish I understood anxiety better. Why am I afraid?

Do you ever deal with fears when it comes to your writing? Do you know what you fear? Do you fear the page? Is it fear of success or fear of failure? How do you deal with your fears in life?

Finally I’ll leave you with my favourite quotes about fear and courage:

  • “Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”. ~ Unknown
  • “You gain strength, courage and confidence from every experience which makes you stop, look fear in the face, and do the thing which you think you cannot do.” ~ Unknown
  • “Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” ~ Ambrose Redmoon
  • “Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” ~ Andre Gide
  • “Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.” ~ Erica Jong
  • “Courage is very important. Like a muscle, it is strengthened by use.” ~ Unknown
  • “All our dreams can come true…if we have the courage to pursue them.” ~ Walt Disney
  • “Creativity takes courage.” ~ Henri Matisse
  • “Courage is being afraid, but doing it anyway.” ~ Unknown