Rebecca recently wrote a moving post asking: How do YOU meet and greet people? I commend her for sharing her heart and insecurities with the world, reaching out for guidance and wisdom.

Here’s a snippet of her heartfelt post:

“I’m not sure if you’re aware of it, but I suffer from social phobia. For those who aren’t familiar with the term, social phobia is a fear of people, social situations, or the judgment of others. It goes beyond merely being shy to full-out anxiety attack with all the nasty side effects. My fear of people and social situations has left me feeling like I’m at a disadvantage when networking and building my business. The truth is, I don’t KNOW what I think most would consider common social niceties. So, I’m turning to you, can you help me?”

I can help you, Rebecca.

My Battle with Social Phobia

Many of you WRA readers may not know that I’m a survivor of domestic violence. Even after I escaped and was back home with my family and had a strong support system, I found myself unable to leave the house, unable to face the world, and was even on anxiety – and depression – medication. I had full-blown anxiety attacks when I left the house – even just to go to the grocery store.

I thought it would be best to lock myself away and never go outside. Even when I went outside, I didn’t want to leave the yard.

Side Effects of Social Phobia

Although wrapping ourselves up in a cocoon might feel comforting at the time, suffering from social phobia actually makes for a very lonely lifestyle, I know. And realizing that you’ll probably have to endure a grueling anxiety attack when you try to face your phobia demons makes it that much harder to try to overcome. Add to it the fact that you want a successful freelance (or any kind of) business and it equals a stressful disaster.

And, like Rebecca mentioned, it also puts a damper on freelance success.

Social Phobic vs. Social Butterfly

I won’t lie, social phobia continues to be a never-ending war within me. I still struggle with the inner demons like Rebecca — I’ve merely found ways to overcome them.

1. Just start somewhere. In the Do’s and Don’ts of Social Networking, I shared a few things you need to be aware of while surfing the Social Media circuits. While these tips may seem unattainable for some of you who are at a loss when it comes to socializing, they are certainly reachable. You have to start somewhere. I did, and that’s how I’ve learned these things.
2. Dig deep to muster up the courage that’s dormant. It’s there. You just have to find it. I’m not a bold, courageous kind of gal, but I’ve forced myself to look within and absorb strength and drive I didn’t know I even had. That’s how I met an Editor and an Editor-In-Chief this year.
3. Want to be a social butterfly? Start writing down everything you aspire to be. When I was locked away in my home, terrified of the world, I found myself journaling more than ever. Writing down my dreams and goals seemed to drudge up determination like never before. Everything from “I will lose over 100 pounds” to “I will be a published writer” graced the pages of those cheap notebooks. Write your social etiquette desires into reality!
4. Learn from others. Do you see other freelancers bouncing around the Social Media sites, chatting casually with editors, making small talk with CEOs of companies? What are they saying? Do they share networking tips on their blogs? Learn from them.
5. Learn from your mistakes. It’s what I do! Since I first started freelancing, I’ve learned which types of emails or Social Media comments I’ve crafted that get a positive response — or a response at all. I’ve found that most of the time it’s the simplest techniques that help you find the courage to sell yourself , really.
6. Move outside of your comfort zone. Force yourself. Plan to attend a local writing event or other event. You never know where you’re going to meet potential clients, editors, or even fellow freelancers you can glean wisdom from, and become sincere friends with. Rebecca has already done that herself! Remember Swan Valley?
7. Baby steps lead to social success. It’s not that there’s one specific answer to conquering social phobia and enhancing your business, but the fact that all those little things you do add up to increasing your courage, self-esteem, and network: emails, Social Media accounts, comments, and mingling with people in the real world.

Happy Ending Beginning

I’ve discovered that the rewards of putting myself out there and either introducing myself in person or emailing someone or any of the other things that come with the social aspect of freelancing, far outweigh the fears and insecurities I might be feeling at the time. Thankfully, each day represents a fresh, new opportunity (several, actually!) for us to try again. I believe social etiquette is forgiving and there isn’t a mold set in stone that we’re required to follow in order to succeed. We each have different personalities and a myriad of knowledge and humor and interesting stories to tell.

Learn to tap into your heart’s reservoir, reach out to your online community (like Rebecca) and you’ll become the Social Butterfly you’ve been admiring in others. That’s a happy beginning, if you ask me!

Did you enjoy this article? Feel free to visit the other articles Michele has written for Writer’s Round-About–or contact her to write for you.

Have you dealt with social issues? How do you try to resolve them? Do you have special tricks to share? Or, are you bold and have never had to deal with social phobia? Let’s discuss!

And stay tuned, to discover more inspiration and ways of coping with social phobia while striving to achieve freelance dreams….

Photo credit: Joana Croft