In the beginning of our writing careers, most freelance writers shamelessly accept any assignments we can get. The title of my blog as I was building my career was “Anything that Pays.” Of course, it was tongue-in-cheek. Pretty much.

Now, I’m able to turn down assignments, or even break away from clients I feel I’ve outgrown.
Or ones that don’t pay well enough.
Or when they say they will.

It’s nothing against them, personally, but I deserve better and I’m finally in a position to expect it.  I know that even if I turn down a job, something else will come along.
And that has happened.

Every time that I’ve turned down a new client or cut someone loose, I received a new offer or assignment within hours, for equal or greater pay. Often, it’s more interesting work than what I left behind. That gives me the confidence to continue being more careful about the work I accept.

In some cases, the client “break-up” didn’t end well. In others, I feel very good about how we left off.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m going to continue the relationship analogy with four ways to “break up” with a client. Some will work for romantic relationships, too. Others? Not so much.

1. “It’s not you, it’s me.”

This line isn’t condescending  if you explain it properly. I flubbed this one big-time with one client. I started to use this tactic, explaining I had outgrown the blog and am moving on to better paying jobs. But, I took it too far.

I insulted the content. I implied the blog wasn’t worth my time. I boasted about the “better work” I  had. I may have said it was “me,” not them… but they heard, “It’s not you, it’s me. I’m too good to work for your blog.” Ouch. You can learn from my mistake. When you use this line, truly accept the responsibility, and leave it at that.

2. “I just don’t have the time to devote to this relationship to make it the best it can be. If I can’t give my best, it’s time I step down.”

When you’re overworked, you can’t produce your best. Most clients will understand and respect that.

3. “I want to pursue other opportunities.”

This could mean better paying or more interesting gigs. It could also mean “opportunities to work for someone who’s not a psychopath.” The clients doesn’t need to know that. This exit line is polite, to the point, and leaves little room for questions.

4. “I can’t, but I recommend…”

This one might not work for a relationship break-up. “Hey, this isn’t working out, but I know you always said my friend Jane was cute…”  No.

Most times, though, clients appreciate the referral. If they liked your work, they will trust your recommendation. Passing a job that isn’t right for you to another writer brings good karma. Truly, everyone wins.

It takes guts and confidence to turn down work that isn’t right for you or to walk away from an unsatisfying relationship, romantic, professional or otherwise.

But remember, when you let go of something you don’t want in your life, you are sending a powerful message to the Universe that you are ready to accept more of what you do want.

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