Articles in the Psychology and Emotion Category

This month, for the AW Blog Chain we talked about birthday’s and “growing up”. Many of us remember growing pains as we grew through each of the life stages behind us but did you know that our writing experiences similar growing pains?

The Labor of our Love of Writing

It all began, years before it all began. We gestated our love of language and writing through our own growth stages. Many writers can remember the joy of written creations shaping childhood. We daydreamed of the creativity we would, one day, bring into this world.

Eventually, the nesting period culminated in the pain and loss of childhood innocence. We brought our writing out into the harsh light of day. No longer could we cocoon our inspiration and ideas in the womb of secret passions. And so, our writing was born into the world. For the first time, others admired the wonder. Our baby was beautiful, at least in our own eyes, and the real journey was just beginning.

Each idea, story, or article is born in the same way. It starts, nestled safely in our minds and hearts until we push through the anxiety and pain to bring it out onto the page.

Cutting our Writing Teeth

After those labor pains, writing wandered through weeks of sleepless nights. We would delve into it at a moment’s notice any hour of the day. Often, we were tired, sometimes a little sad, but we were also high on the joy and wonder of creation.

As our writing grows up, however, teething inevitably arrives with sore gums, misery, and sometimes tears. Frustration dampens the thrill. What was once easy and effortless became a chore.

In is in this stage too that we begin to truly judge our writing. Our critical eye develops and we start to see our babies as they really are.

The pain of teething makes us want to stop. Many would-be writers do stop at this point, unaware that we explore new wonders, new tastes, after our teeth come in.

Temper Tantrums, Trouble Makers, and Id.

Have you ever met a three year old that was an angel ALL the time? I didn’t think so. Because after teething, children come into their twos, threes, and fours. These are the years of discovery. They find their personality, their Id, their sense of self and belonging. And in discovering how they influence the world around them, and that they are a single cog in the wheel of life, they rebel and test their boundaries.

Our writing also goes through this stage. After it’s munched on a few crunchy husks and found it’s teeth it reaches a stage of discovery. It becomes curious, it explores, it takes chances, and it gets hurt and scared. It tests its boundaries and throws tantrums.

This age of our writing is a wonderful part of growing up. It is when we discover our true voice and come to cherish what is unique about what we have to share with the world. These years feel the longest and sometimes, no matter how grown up we become, we revert to those trouble-making three-year-olds. Fear builds and we need to test our boundaries. We need to be reassured that we are safe and protected.

Striking Out with Writer Independence

Around the age of ten, most of us went through a new stage, we discovered that we could do things on our own. We no longer needed permission, we could make choices and decisions for ourselves. But, we were insecure in making choices so sometimes we would get clingy, emotional, angry, frustrated, and scared.

Once past the tantrum stage, our writing goes through a few years where it wanders in the youthful enthusiasm of childhood before it starts to understand danger and risk. Before then, it acts without realizing that what it does might be hazardous but as understanding dawns it begins to question what is right and it realizes that its power to affect others can do as much harm as good.

This stage of development is one that is truly magical but often overlooked. It feels like an in-between, we often just think the ten year old is a ten year old. Not quite a child, not quite a teenager, still young, carefree, and without the worries of the world on their shoulders. But a ten year old worries, and our ten year old writing become concerned too. As the weight of those worries build in the coming years it leads into the next stage.

Responding to Responsibility – Teenage Rebellion

When that former ten year old now about fourteen realizes they’ve had enough of the sense of responsibility that comes with growing up they rebel. They toss off the shackles of responsibility. They want to be carefree again. They want to make bad choices and they don’t want to be concerned with consequence. They want to be three-years-old again, when right and wrong didn’t matter and when they were still oblivious to danger.

Our writing loves this stage. If you’re in it you won’t know it but your voice is dramatically different in this stage. It’s not even really “you” so much it’s the mask you put on, the face you show others. This is also the age where you’ll find your writing most mimics others. You wear the masks of other people as your writing tries to fit in.

You’ll often find in this stage you begin to harness the ability to put deep emotional ties into your writing. That angst you felt as a teenager is angst your teenage writing gives voice. Before your writing reaches adulthood it can bleed on the page, everything is intense, without filter. It often lacks direction and almost never has a plan. It also ignores consequence. But it’s only steps away from the balance, understanding, and grounding of adulthood.

Balance, Understanding, and Grounding

All of these stages eventually lead to adulthood. You’ve been reckless, you’ve abandoned responsibility, you’ve discovered your sense of being separate and distinct from others, you’ve taken a bite out of life, and become your own person. You step away from your family and begin building a place for yourself in the world. You’re still learning who you are, because none of us ever really stop, but you’ve got a firmer grasp of yourself and your emotions. You’ve learned that you have a place in the world and that, to some degree, you have the power to shape that place.

When our writing reaches this same level of maturity it too has learned that it has a place in the world and that it has the power to shape that place. We’ve learned to harness our raw emotions, to give them essence and strength on the page. But we’ve also learned that those emotions play a part in the greater whole of our story. They aren’t just there for the sake of being there, they, in their very being, have significance to the story and to the characters.

We’ve also learned through growing up that there are times when writing is hard and there are times when we can write from the core of our three year old, we can write from the minds of our ten year old, we can write from the heart of our fourteen year old, and that all of those things are within the adulthood of our writing. In this, maturity of our writing, we have greater command and control. We know how to manipulate language, and to put our influence on the page.

In adulthood, we’ve also learned the importance of having a message. Our writing is no longer aimless, it conveys, it transforms, and it brings value to those around us. We’ve learned to be giving and we’ve learned to use our strengths to make a difference for others, and ourselves.

What have you learned as your writing was growing up? Do you think you’re still in one of these other stages? Do you recognize any stages I’ve not mentioned? How has your own writing grown?

See what other Absolute Writers have to say about “Growing Up”:

• Aimee Laine – aimeelaine
• Claire Gillian – AuburnAssassin
• Night-Tinted Glasses – DavidZahir
• Life in Scribbletown – FreshHell
• The Gluten Free Food Blog – Simran
• Everything Historical – Proach *Thanks for the introduction.
• Escape Into Romance – *RomanceWriter*
• Filling in the Corners – Breddings *Thanks for the introduction.
• Writer’s Round-About – laffarsmith
• My Fantasy Life – Sneaky Devil *UP NEXT!
• Words Fail Me – leahzero
• South Asia Blog – razibahmed
• [Insert Title Here] – RavenCorinnCarluk
• Eclectic Thoughts – Collectonian

Do you find some writers “just lucky?” Do you look at colleagues who earn all the best gigs, find clients who always pay on time, write for your dream markets – and wonder what they’re doing that you’re not?

I hold the opinion that there is no such thing as luck. We all make our own luck (if you want to call it that). I hope that doesn’t sound elitist or unsympathetic. If you think you’re doing everything you can to build a career, but still see others achieving greater success, you may be missing an important element.

Do you believe you can be a successful freelance writer? Do you expect success?

Many people have never heard of the Law of Attraction. For others, their only exposure is through the movie or Rhonda Byrne’s bestselling book, The Secret. While the book is a quality introduction to the Law of Attraction, it doesn’t tell the whole story.

I can’t describe the whole process of manifesting what you want by believing you have it in one short article. But I’ve been using the Law of Attraction in my freelance writing career and I can share a few tips.

What is the Law of Attraction?

The Law of Attraction is simple. It’s a universal law, as constant as gravity, which states: Like attracts like.

Good or bad, whatever you are getting now, you are bound to get more of. Unless you change your thoughts and actions.

Freelance writers sometimes use the term “feast or famine” to describe this universal truth. When we have work, we have lots of work. We’ll get up early, stay up late, miss meals, and work around the clock. This, of course, attracts more work. We hate to turn down writing gigs, because we expect there will be lean times, as well. People consider it a rule of the freelance business, but it’s actually the Law of Attraction in action.

Similarly, when we struggle with writing, that feeling can go on for days and days, until we take action to change it.

Use the Law of Attraction to Keep Business Rolling

When things are going well, how do you maintain momentum?

Simply believe you deserve it, and expect more of it.

Don’t focus on, “What will I do if this streak of work ends? What if I lose this client?” Instead, focus on writing, getting your job done, and expecting more work. It will come – if you believe it.

The act of showing up for work everyday, or on the days that you have set as workdays, is very important. It keeps your mind focused on work. It’s not always easy to stay disciplined when we don’t have a boss forcing us to punch a time clock. But you owe it to yourself to keep whatever office hours you’ve decided upon, however flexible they might be. Keep producing, keep expecting, and work will keep coming.

Make Room for Good Clients

Work attracts more work, and good clients attract more good clients. Do you have deadbeat clients? Jobs you hate? People who are difficult to work with? Cut them loose.

It’s not always easy to find the nerve to do this, but only by getting rid of what you don’t want are you free to focus on what you do want, such as clients who:

• Pay on time
• Pay well
• Are easy to work with
• May be generous with their praise (if this is important to you)
• Will  refer you to colleagues

Focus on the Work You Want

Many writers want to write for glossy consumer magazines, but instead, answer ads for content writers. They get the work. They do it well. Soon, they are known as top-class Web content writers. But they haven’t sent out a query letter to a magazine in months.

Other writers get regular monthly magazine assignments, but they really want to write a book. Still, assignments keep coming in, leaving them no time to focus on their book.

I understand the necessity of having to pay the bills. But don’t expect what you’re not focusing on. Expect to get more of what you have.

Knowing this, you can make the choice: Do you want to take the chance and branch out to meet your true goals? Or are you content making a living as a writer, even if it’s not the writer you dream of being?

And if you’re settling: Why would you want to settle, if what you really want is there, just waiting for you to claim it? You’re worth more than that!

Visualize the Jobs You Want

One step toward making the jump to the writing work you really want is to visualize yourself doing it.

If you want to be in a consumer magazine, buy a copy of that magazine. Scan in the masthead and use a basic graphics program to insert your name into the masthead of your dream publication. Hang it in your workspace. Don’t have a scanner or graphics program? Write your name with pen. It’s your intention that matters.

If you want to write a book, create the cover (it doesn’t have to be fancy), with your name in big, bold print as the author. Put this near your desk where you’ll see it when you work.

To meet financial goals, place photos of money, along with a number that represents your goal, in a visible place. You can also print out a blank check from the “Secret” website and write it out to yourself, for whatever amount you’d like.

This may sound like “magic,” but it’s really about believing you can achieve your goals, visualizing yourself achieving them, and doing the work it takes to make it happen. Some people work with a Life Coach specializing in the Law of Attraction to help them. I personally recommend J. Sewell Perkins of the Success Coaches Institute and the Secret Abundance Files.

Note: I am a student of the Secret Abundant Files program, an advisory board member of its International Mastermind Group, and part of its affiliate program. The money I receive when you buy the course is a mere fraction of what YOU will receive when you master its principles.

Have you felt the Law of Attraction influencing your writing career? What will you do today to manifest the future success you deserve?

There is nothing more dreadful to a writer than staring at a blank page on the computer. There is a sense of stage fright that hangs in the shadows, taunting your every attempt to begin writing the grand novel or article that has inspired your soul. The number of words looking to take that blank page to a completed piece scream in your mind as your heart begins to race. You are there, facing the firing squad in your mind. You are a writer. WHY CAN’T YOU WRITE?

First, take a deep breath. It’s only letters placed in such a manner as to form a word. That word will begin the sentence. The sentence will begin the paragraph and the paragraph starts a chapter. Beginning the chapter means you’ve officially begun the work you’ve set your sights upon. Congratulations!

Recently I had the privilege of chatting with a few writer friends online. As the conversation turned to beginnings, I chuckled at how I had begun writing this very piece, though unfinished. I had begun, something one writer was struggling with on her own. I mentioned at that point I was working an article tailored specifically to beginnings – and she couldn’t wait to read it for herself.

Having an idea is only one part to writing. To be a writer you must write.

Beginnings can be quite ugly. Especially if you have ignored that calling to sit down and write for any amount of time. It doesn’t matter what you do to start, what matters is that you’ve placed a word on a page and began expanding upon it to form a sentence; there go, writing.

What is incredible about writing – whether by pen or through typing – is the opportunity to edit that ugly beginning once the middle and end are complete. As a writer, you might produce one brilliant piece in your lifetime. That doesn’t mean that the rest of what you write is garbage. It just means the editor in you has to come out, but not until after you’ve written.

Taking the time to journal or free-write about the subject you desire to write about will help break the silence that sends you into a near anxiety attack. Journaling and free-writing also reduce the stress you feel by the editor that nestles inside. It is only when we are writing an article or a large work of art that the editor likes to cause a disruption.

Next time you are looking to begin an article, short story, or novel; begin first by writing in your journal and transfer that writing to your blank page to reduce your anxiety. After all, it matters not how you begin, but that you do.

Do you ever struggle with the blank page? What do you do to get past the anxiety and begin?

By Peri Coeurtney Enkin

Musicians do not appear on stage to perform without hours of previous practice. Dancers learn their choreography in the studio before they dance for the public. Singers do scales. Athletes stretch. Writers need to light their Creative Fires and maintain their Creative Flow too.
Writers need to write – often, regularly, for all kinds of reasons.

Last night I handed out the following list to my Write with Spirit class. I asked everyone to consider why they write. It helps to know. In fact setting your intention for writing with a specific purpose in mind harnesses the creative forces of the universe on your behalf. Often we are wishy-washy. We want to write to educate and we end up writing to soothe ourselves. Both are important and valuable – yet require different attention from us.

1. Write to Free Your Creativity – You want to live a creative life and writing is one way to do that.
2. Write for Wholeness – You want to develop, deepen and expand your connection with your Higher Self.
3. Write for Guidance – You want to receive guidance from your Higher Self.
4. Write for Insight and Understanding – You want to broaden your perspective and see through the eyes of Spirit
5. Write for Personal Growth – You want to experience more personal balance, alignment, and calm. You want to know your authentic feelings and needs better. You want to learn and grow
6. Write to Heal – You know writing offers you a path through confusion to clarity, through sadness, depression and fear into hope, appreciation and forgiveness.
7. Write for Relief – You want to step outside of your small mind, find comfort, soothe yourself.
8. Write for Joy – You write because it is fun and you love doing it! You reach for to experience the joy of “Dancing with the Universe.
9. Write to Deliver a Message – You have something to say and you want to teach, share, educate.
10. Write to Entertain – You want your words to provide delight, humor, intrigue, drama or fun for others
11. Write to Inspire – You want your words to help others to wake up to their own Magnificence.
12. Write to Connect, Move, Touch – You want to touch hearts, provide comfort, romance, ease, and hope.

The next time you sit down to write consider your intention before you begin:

• Do you seek inner guidance?
• Do you want to free your Self-Expression?
• Do you want to hone your writing skills?
• Do you want to give words to a message that wants to be born through you?

When you write with a destination in mind you are more likely to get where you are going. Just do not forget to include regular writing practice in your schedule. Writers do need to write.

Do you Love to Write? Join me for Write with Spirit classes from the comfort of your own home. Email me for a link to current events peri@creatorschoice.com

Enjoy my Write with Spirit Blog http://www.writewithspirit.blogspot.com/ and sign up at my website to receive my ezine http://www.creatorschoice.com

I’m all about celebrating your creative spirit with Writing Practice Tips, Positive Partnership Skills and anything else that inspires and engages hearts. I enjoy personal contact with my readers so feel free to contact me directly. Thanks for being YOU!

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Do you need help discovering your passion, motivation, or true purpose? Perhaps you need a Date With Destiny. Join inspirational life coach, Tony Robbins, this December!

In response to my first-ever post here at WRA, our fearless leader Rebecca Laffar-Smith brought up a very important point: “If you don’t sit in your chair and put words to the page you’ll get nowhere as a freelance writer.”

Not only do you need to write to make a living as a writer, you must submit your work to editors, post it on blogs, or otherwise get it out there into paying markets. (I’m not going to address, here, people who write purely for the joy of it. While I respect that demographic for that decision, it’s not what I do.)

Sending off your finished work to editors – clicking the mouse over the send button on an email or, in rare cases, dropping a query letter or article in the mailbox — is not easy.  It is, in fact, the different between a professionally-published writer and a dilettante.

You’ll find all manner of advice about a freelance writing career on the Internet. My three basic tips can get beginners started.  But there’s more, too.

Writers must learn about market research, how to conduct interviews, how to stick to a writing schedule of some sort and – depending on your tolerance for disorder – even learn how to organize your work environment for maximum productivity. But none of those things, alone, will build a freelance writing career.

A writer could wake up at 6 AM every morning, research her dream publications over coffee and eggs, move to her clean desk in her Feng Shui’d office, and follow the plans on her daily calendar every single day for a year. A year later, unless those plans included writing an article and sending it off to an editor, this writer would still be unpublished and struggling.

At some point, that writer has to ask, “What’s keeping me from hitting send?” And we can look around our clean offices, immaculate homes, and piles of magazines neatly organized by genre and date, and realize we did all this as “productive procrastination.” (Doing something distasteful or scary to avoid doing something even MORE distasteful or scary.)

Hitting “send “is often the scariest part of our job. We may do anything to avoid it. We’ll re-read, proofread, re-write, proofread again. We’ll wash the floors. Scoop the cat box. Call friends. Find another source, interview them, and re-write our article again.

Sometimes writers need a helping hand. Sometimes, we need a friend to literally click the mouse button for us. Other times, we need a virtual kick in the butt to do it ourselves.

There’s a very supportive forum over at www.absolutewrite.com, where writers do exactly this for each other. We gravitate toward a thread called JHS, which stands for “Just Hit Send.”

I’m sure there are others. A friend just invited me to join a writers network called She Writes. I’m excited to see the possibilities there.

My point is, wherever you find inspiration and support – it’s important to have it! And the best writers’ network will remind you of the formula to build a successful freelance writing career.

Here it is. Read carefully.

“Write. Send. Repeat.”

In the JHS thread at Absolute Write, we check back frequently to let our colleagues know we did it and celebrations abound. We come back later, still, and share the outcome (an acceptance or a rejection). Rejections result in JHSing that idea to another editor, and a new, different idea to the first editor, again with the support of our writing pals.

If you’re serious about building a freelance writing career, I ask you:

Did you JHS today? If not, what’s holding you back?

Believing in yourself or the quality of your ideas is, perhaps, one of the greatest challenges writers must face before they’ll find success in this industry. Ideas are plentiful and, if you’ve read about the Idea Waterfall you know, there are no bad ideas. But which of the multitude of ideas we have every day can be transformed into something remarkable?

George Singleton says:

“We should believe in the possible existence of the Perfect Short Story or Perfect Novel in the same way that we believe in Bigfoot or the Loch Ness monster. They’re out there somewhere, but it’ll take some time to discover them.

Once discovered, without question, it will still take some work to convince people that it’s not a hoax. That should be your goal.” ~ Pep Talks, Warnings & Screeds by George Singleton

Believe In Yourself

As writers, our purpose is to convince others that the story we tell is one they want to read. The way we write encourages their interest, it holds them to the page. There are aspects in everything we write that influences the reader from our hooks, hangers, and the sequence of events, to the suspension of disbelief.

A writer needs to believe in more than the possibility that the perfect idea exists. The greater battle comes when we must believe in our ability to TELL the story perfectly. Our ideas begin, pristine, flawless, perfect, and from there it call all go terribly wrong. With every word we write we are growing, learning the craft, honing our talent, and so with each word we get better at transforming our ideas into the form they deserve. To tell a story we must have faith in ourselves and our ability to share our ideas in a way that expresses it clearly to our readers.

One of the greatest fears that cause writer’s block is a sense that we cannot write the story that deserves to be written. This fear is one causing me the greatest concern with my current novel. It is an inner agony to know you have a fantastic story, rich characters, an intricate but solid plot and face the foibles of our own fallacy. Self-doubt is a destructive force that leaves manuscripts unfinished or gathering dust. Too often it is a sense of being unable to bring to the page the idea that originally formed in the mind.

How do you reinforce your self-confidence? How do you convince yourself you can tell your perfect story?

Each time I face this fear I remind myself, “If not me, then who?” There might be thousands of writers better than I but this story is one only I can tell. It is an idea that came only to me and there is no way I could give enough of it to another writer that they would produce my idea exactly as I see it. I am the only writer who can breath life into these characters. I might not do it flawlessly. In fact, it is certain to be imperfect. In lowering our expectations to simply putting the story onto the page we take the pressure of perfection from our shoulders.

This is also the reason I LOVE first drafts. A first draft exists because we make mistakes. No author has ever told their story in a single telling. Novels particularly require careful crafting. The first step is to get an echo of our ideas, our characters on the page. The first draft is a shadow of the story we want to tell. We give ourselves permission to write badly because this first step does not require us to tell it right. Any mistakes we make in the first telling of our story can be repaired in second and third drafts.

Do you ever face self-doubt? What do you tell yourself so that you can move past fear? How do you learn to believe in yourself, to believe you are the one to tell this story? Do you believe in the perfect story?

We’ve all stared down the blank page, fighting an inner turmoil, fear, anxiety, uncertainty, a disquieted soul that rumbles at the expanse of white. I’ve often wondered if I suffer more than any other as, of course, is a common egomaniac response to phobic anxieties. Because, by it’s very essense, these fears are irrational and larger than life, which means no one could possibly have lived through such an experience and written to tell the tale.

The truth is, fear of the blank page is common. I suffer it every day to varied extent and fellow writers have suffered it since the dawn of the written word. Perhaps that dawn was delayed by the fear too!

How do YOU conquer your fear of the blank page?

Just Do It!

In the end, one tried and true method seems to be the only one that works every single time, “Just Do It!” Unfortunately, the theory is as usual, easier than the practice. It is one thing to say, “Just start writing…” and another to quell the beast within long enough to put a word on the page, any word at all. What’s worse is that each word feels tortured, ripped from the gut and splattered in all its messy gore onto the formerly pristine perfection of a blank page.

Writing is messy. The demon within begs us to be neat, orderly, tidy. Backspace! Delete it! Scratch it out! We beat him down, and beat him down again, “Not now!” His screams make us more uneasy but we’ve been told that by facing the page it gets easier to face again and again. We subdue the demon, vowing to call on him when his time comes. He has a purpose, later…

Meanwhile, we scrawl in blood on the page, drip by crimson drip, because putting something on the page is the way to get back to breathing. Putting something, anything, on the page is a way to loosen the knot in our stomach, the tingle in our fingers, the stutter on the tip of our tongue. Still, the words feel awkward, stupid, clumsy…

Today, I wanted to write. My heart aches from being locked away from the words but even with my deepest passions calling me to the page I quiver, anxiety’s baited breath against my throat. I stare at the blank page as words fall upon it and wonder, “WHEN!?! When will this get easier?”

And, with over ten years experience it dawns on me, “It won’t.”

Choosing to be a writer is an act of desperation. No one would choose this life of inner agony, heightened emotions, and tremulous turmoil if they could live their life another way. I find comfort in the fact that sometimes, sometimes fear gives way to a soul-encompassing joy. Sometimes, writing is like breathing. Sometimes, it is bliss, it is harmony. Sometimes…

One of the most exhilarating choices you may make in your life is to become ‘a writer’. There are many images and expectations about the writer’s lifestyle. It can be filled with joy and steeped in the wonder of language and expression. Writer’s have the opportunity to give something to the world. Writing is a profession often connected with the freedom of doing what you truly love for the rest of your life, but is it really?

Myth 1: Writing is like paid vacation.

Being a writer isn’t about having a book on the shelves of Barnes and Nobles; it’s not about signings, tours, or discussions with your editor. Being a writer is about writing. You’re going to face occasions when you are challenged. You’ll have days when you doubt your ability to succeed and you’ll wallow in the misery of failure, not because you’ve failed but because you aren’t where you expect yourself to be. Writing is work, and it’s hard work at that.

Myth 2: Writer’s Enjoy Solitary Lives.

A common misconception is that writers are hermits. While the actual act of writing is often one best done in contented mental (not necessarily physical) solitude writing is about people and life. You can’t be a great writer if you don’t immerse yourself in your subject, in your readers. You can’t live in a black hole, never having seen the sky and write about the life of a bird. You have to live, meet people, get to know who your audience is, and write for that world, not yourself and the earthworms.

Myth 3: Writing is easy.

If you’ve chosen to be a writer because writing is easy you’re in for a shock. I don’t think any professional writer would ever say that this career isn’t more challenging than any other they’ve had in their lifetime. Writing is hard. The difficulty is a part of what makes the best writers so good.

Myth 4: Writers are rich.

This is one I really wish were true. The truth is, only a very select few, very good and very lucky writers ever get rich. Beginning writers make very little money. Many writers never make great money. In the early days of your writing career you’ll probably need a day job and you’ll probably still eat out of a can and scrimp for toilet paper.

Myth 5: Writers know everything.

Yes, writers come to know a lot but I’ve never met a writer who thought they had learned enough. Curiosity seems to be a requirement for writers. We are constantly striving to learn; we research, we study, we take courses, we workshop, we read, and read, and read. We thirst for knowledge and explore. We take chances and we fail, a lot. Writing is a journeyman’s life. There are no masters and it is impossible to perfect the craft (that doesn’t stop us trying).

Myth 6: Writers are always relaxed and happy.

There will be good days and bad days. There are days when we could sing from rooftops and others when every word feels dragged (slowly and painfully) from the depths of our souls. Writers tend to feel everything to a thousandth of a degree. Every tear is a thunderstorm, every kiss a rainbow. It’s important to allow yourself to feel every extreme and every emotion because these are vital for great writing. The best writers are the ones who can bleed onto the page, dragging themselves through every heartbeat, reliving every moment and create it with such intense reality that readers feel every beat as if it were their own heart pounding.

Writers are a kooky bunch of people. We come from all walks of life and each of us brings something unique and amazing to the world’s literature. The only people who will truly understand you are fellow writers. While your family shakes their head at this odd creature that inhabits their home we smile at our own families who are doing exactly the same thing.

It is a wondrous, heart wrenching life to lead. You’ll love it and hate it in every breath but you never really give it away. Our writing isn’t really ours to give up. It’s like a calling for the priesthood. Being a writer is about being who you are.

Procrastination and distraction are two of the greatest detriments for writing professionals. Often, they play hand to hand with each other, the latest distraction is simply another excuse to procrastinate. In Singleton’s latest book, Pep Talks, Warnings & Screeds George writes:

Pep Talk No. 29 – Do Yourself A Favor
Turn off your cell phone. Place it in a room far from where you write. Sit. Write.

This pep talk, while short, cuts right to the point. A writer needs to break away from distractions like cell phones and internet. Leave the laundry to soak, turn the television off.
To be a successful writer we need do one thing. Write.

The ability to write is a remarkable gift. With it we have a new world, a new state, a new sense of purpose any time we turn to the page. Breaking free of the constraints of a high-tech world can be challenging. Today there are a multitude of distractions. Things we could be doing, things we feel we ’should’ be doing. Ultimately, being a writer is about choice.

I choose to write, right now.

I choose to write when I could be watching Army Wives on television. I choose to write when I could be having hot chocolate and marshmallows at the local cafe. I choose to write when I could be washing dishes or vacuuming the floor. I choose to let the answering machine handle my calls, ignore the postman as he passes, and trust my kids are safe in school while I write.

Right now, I choose to: Sit. Write.

Being a writer requires sacrifice. Every choice we make requires sacrificing the alternative. For everything I choose not to do right now there will be a consequence. The dishes will still need to be washed and that hot chocolate would really go down well but for this moment, I sacrifice an empty sink and a warm belly for the words on the page. We choose for a greater good, hoping that the sacrifices we make are worth the consequences and that the final result leads us towards a greater happiness.

What sacrifices have you made for your passions? What passions are you sacrificing?

How do you measure success?

What is the image that comes to mind when you think of yourself as successful, or when you imagine other successful people? For many of us, success is distant, something almost intangible that we are constantly reaching for, striving toward.

The real trouble with success is it’s a moving target. On our endless journey toward this obscure sense of what we wish for ourselves, we forget to acknowledge the small milestones. Each time we reach those milestones we are already looking ahead to the next.

There are two questions I try to ask myself regularly:
What is your concept of success, today? and
What have you already accomplished?

The first question gives us the target, the second rewards and acknowledges the milestones we’ve already reached. It’s important to pause and acknowledge your successes. Take a moment to look around you, see how far you’ve already come, because the horizon remains a distant point every step you take but the distance behind you becomes an expansive haven of success.

Alex Noble said, “If I have been of service, if I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, if I am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, if I am at peace with myself, it has been a successful day.”

For many, success equals happiness. Knowing that right this moment, we are already successful is uplifting and confidence-inspiring. In this very moment we have fostered many successes, there are a great many things we have done right. Right now, what have you accomplished up to this moment?

When building on your list of accomplishments look beyond your business or career and consider your personal successes. Do you have happy, healthy children? Wow! That is a HUGE success! Being a parent is one of the greatest challenges and every day offers a thousand potential successes. Have you done something to strengthen your romantic relationship recently? Have you read something interesting, written something inspiring, connected with others, had an idea, put a new plan into action, watered the garden, checked a chore off your to-do list?

Your life is full of these small, milestone successes. Pause in your dogged-determination toward your future success and see the pebble-strewn path you’ve already walked. Each pebble is an accomplishment, an achievement, a hurdle you’ve conquered and a step you will never have to take again. Reward yourself for having come so far.

To follow without halt, one aim; there is the secret of success. And success? What is it? I do not find it in the applause of the theater; it lies rather in the satisfaction of accomplishment.” ~ Anna Pavlova

THEN, set your new target firmly in your sights. Make sure it is a new success that isn’t so far distant the edges blur. Ensure your vision of success today is sharp, clear, and inspiring. See your success, feel it to the very depth of you, and step those pebbles on the path toward it.