15 December 2009
by 
*jaw drops* Ok, my head must have been in the sand yesterday because I didn’t hear about this until late this afternoon (5 hours ago). It’s taken me that long to read, let it sink in, ride the comment wave through 343 amazing, deep, and emotionally motivated comments, and still get kids fed, bathed, and into bed.
So, the Men With Pens James Chartrand is actually a woman…
My initial reactions were heartbreak, anger, and frustration. Like others have mentioned, my anger wasn’t directed at James for any sense of ‘deception’. Writers use pen names all the time. I have another name, another persona for a different aspect of myself, there is nothing wrong with choosing to put a different label on one compartment of your life.
What I was angry about is the “need” to use a MAN’s name and the YEARS I’ve put into building my business under my own name. I had no idea that my being a woman could play a significant role on how others treated me. Blind, naive, and perhaps just a little stupid. I let it sink in. I let myself feel the anger and resentment and yes, even jealousy that James had figured out that key early on and found success by presenting an alternative image. I let myself feel it and examined those emotions and motivations.
I pulled out a notepad and wrote angry and heart broken rants. I snagged comments that I resonated with as I read down through them all. I examined my feelings and the reactions of others.
James has always commanded my respect but even I am guilty of gender bias. I held off reaching out to establish a more personal friendship with James because I thought he was a man. I don’t feel as confident of myself when I deal with men, and I often feel a sense of resentment when I consider men doing what I do. Freelancing men.
In one comment, Andrew Lightheart said, “Why should it matter to me that you’re a woman? But it does – I’m amazed at my hidden sexism. Not in a ‘I’m never going to read her writing again’ – more that it changes the way I read it.
And not in a bad way, but it *shouldn’t* make *any* difference.”
Me too. And I’m disappointed with myself for the same reason. Gender shouldn’t matter, but it does. It completely changes our perception. It even changes each word she’s ever written. We see it differently. That fact, underlines exactly why we need to be aware of this issue. It SHOULDN’T be so, but it is.
I have this insidious voice in my head that says, “Men have it so easy.” Some of that comes from having been raised by a mother who struggled to make it in a man’s world. By having a father who paid lip service to parenting, who barely acknowledged me as his daughter and instead gave his all to raising someone else’s children. By being divorced, having an ex-husband who rarely bothers to contact his two children. By having experienced in my own life men who “had it easy”, walked away from responsibility, and accomplished in stride what I struggle to achieve every day.
But not ALL men are like that. On a conscious level I know that. On a sub-conscious level “knowing” doesn’t silence the voice.
James followed up with: “This was very often one of the reasons I *hated* telling people who I was. I didn’t change, my work didn’t change, NOTHING changed…
Except *their* perspective of me. And I disliked becoming someone else in their eyes in that way. I wasn’t that person. You know?”
And yet, the person James DID appear to be created an image, a perspective too. I’m not the only one who mentioned that ‘his’ being a man, influenced the way I treated him.
I think we all have our little voices. We all react from the prejudices and imprints our personal experiences have left on our soul. We all treat people differently, even when we “know” we shouldn’t.
How important is gender for freelance writers?
Would being a man, improve a female writer’s chances of success? If she were a man would she have landed that gig?
It’s scary to wonder the implications. What do you think?
No related posts.
Aw, this was a really good quality post. In theory I’d like to write like this too – taking time and real effort to make a good article… but what can I say… I procrastinate a lot and never seem to get something done.
Well if anything, what she did was an interesting social experiment! Nice title to your post by the way – though I thought I was being directed to a cosmo-esque quiz that attempted to predict my future based on undergarment habits.
I don’t know – the whole gender bias thing – I never really paid attention to it. I mean, it can work on the reverse, too. There are plenty of gigs a woman is more likely to get. I think there ARE differences between the genders and instead of resist it, why not have it work FOR you!
That’s the approach I choose to take.
So, I sort of feel indifferent about the Men With Pens announcement.
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And all this time I thought it was because James was Canadian…
I don’t really know the implications of all of this. While I personally have never been treated badly, or asked to lower my rates, I also have no idea how many times I’ve been skipped over because I am female. There’s no way to know, unless that person were to tell you. Since many times prejudices are subconscious, they may not even know why your query “didn’t click” with them.
I am proud James took a stand, and did what she needed to do. I’ve read a lot of the articles popping up, and I don’t think she was trying to hurt anyone.
I really don’t have any answers. I just hope this story can encourage others to do what they need to do, whether as themselves or under an alter ego.
~Kimberlee
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thanks buddy for updating me with this
See, and I thought the column was a Feng Shui type thing based on the title.
Bob Younce of FWJ (www.freelancewritinggigs.com) did the exact opposite, living life as a “Mom-blogger” for several years. (No, Bob is NOT short for Roberta — he’s a guy).
There’s absolutely nothing new about this:
George Eliot – lady
SE Hinton – chick
JK Rowling – Mom
Of course, JK Rowling didn’t hide the fact she’s a woman, but marketing studies showed that adolescent boys woul d beless inclined to pick up Harry Potter if they knew a woman wrote it. We’re talking about ’snap judgement, half a second to pull a book of a shelf do I choose Orson Scott Card or Mary Jane?’ type decisions. Rather than alienate half her target market, Rowling went for initials.
George Eliot, however, had it easy… it would be much more difficult today, when authors do public signings and a pen name is more than just a pen name that appears on a book cover — it’s an entire persona. I give “James” credit for keeping it up but I know I wouldn’t be able to.
Rebecca, I don’t mean to invalidate your feelings at all… I certainly understand what you’re saying, but I view what James did merely as another marketing tactic.
And I ask you this: Is James any more successful than Linda Formacelli, Jenna Glatzer, Deb Ng or myself? Okay, maybe me… I honestly don’t know. LOL I don’t think gender is the reason at all.
And hon, if you put your time and effort into freelance writing completely, you too could be up there w/ the ladies I consider the “big 3.” But then the world would lose an amazing Web designer.
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I concur! In fact women wear their best underwear when they wanna impress a guy or just feel confident so it should be the same for men. But above all the underwear should be comfortable or else you’ll have confidence with a wedge
lol I don’t know about that Jack. I’ve never felt very confident when wearing uncomfortable underwear. *winks*
One of the first tips we offer those interested in getting into freelancing from home is to start each day by dressing for success. Yes, we could stay in our pajamas and do this work but I’ve found that getting dressed in the morning in clothes I would be proud to wear out to a meeting, helps me maintain a professional and motivated attitude through the rest of the day.
I guess the choice then goes to each of us as to which kind of underwear represents success to us.
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I bookmarked your site. Thanks for all the reading material. I enjoy reading here!
Thanks, Welner. I’m glad you enjoy Writer’s Round-About.
Thanks for the Great Articles, I saved all your posts, and read one post per day
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